Tonight will Tell the Tell

So last week I lost NOTHING, Zip, Nada!!! I stayed exactly the same. Sooooo, as of this morning I was down .4lbs. I really believe that stress and drama will stop your weightloss now.

I really don't eat at home anymore. I buy stuff and put it in the fridge and if others like it, it will GO AWAY!!! So I eat alot away from home. Except for I can keep my turkey bacon and cheese. You will have to fight for bread and fake butter but there you go. Water? You better hide it in your car.

I am really seriously considering getting my own place. It will make me live on a tight budget and that worries me but at the same time I think it would be good for me emotionally to do that. Time will tell, that is sure. I have actually asked for advice and hope it was the right thing to do. I'm scared to death but we'll see.

I'm joining Jillian Michaels website and cancelling my Biggest Loser membership. She sends out great tips and has an area where doctors, etc write articles. Plus I located her radio show online, it's great and funny too. Some of it is over the top healthy and I am not that far out yet, maybe someday.

I have really been in the blues and had a hard time getting in the groove of workign out. I did go to Cedar Hill and walked the park with my brother and aunt. I have gotten discouraged and with everyone kind of losing interest, I find it harder to do it alone. Stephanie has been doing much better. She is losing inches and is wearing clothes she hasn't worn in a long time so it has her working harder. I've got to pick it up but my life is all mixed up and I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it all and I start getting lethargic.

I ate a taco today from Bueno and a tostado adn a coke, BUT, my breakfast was almost no calories and I have choir practice so I'll be grabbing a snack for dinner so this bumped my calories up where they need to be.

I keep forgetting my vitamins at home and I can really tell. Plus, I had alot on my mind last night and didn't fall asleep. I most of the time don't even realize that I'm disturbed by stuff, but it hits home when I can't sleep. If I don't sleep I have alot on my mind. My brother is being very supportive and is encouraging me to take the next steps I need to take. But I'm scared and wanting to make sure I know God's will. C thinks that perhaps God's will is for me to take the steps I'm scared to take so that I can grow emotionally and become the independent person I need to be. It's hard though to stand up for yourself. I have to do something though, it's really showing in my dieting.

Jillian believes if you have emotional issue you don't deal with it will cause you to put the weight back on. She said people that are a tad overweight is just eating too many of something here and there. People that are over 50 pounds overweight there is deeper issues. I believe that. That is why some of us have such a hard time losing.

I have been really trying to put my focus back on God and let Him heal the wounded parts of me and fill those voids in my life that I have been filling with food.