So I don't guess I ever realized that my "fat layers" did more than my medical doctor explained. He told me how alot of these health issues I have had would begin to diminish as I continue on my weightloss journey of eating better & drinking water, no sodas. He said as I gained weight my body would begin to store hormones I needed for my body to function properly in the fat cells and as I lose weight and those hormones are released my health would change and I would be amazed. He was SOOooooooo correct!!!
Weird thing though, it's not just hormones that my layers had stored. Emotions and memories were also stored, so to speak. As I've lost each pound I've found myself going down a road of emotional ups and downs trying to now deal and process things I never did all those years ago. It makes a little bit of sense because instead of dealing with the pain or hurt, I would put a bandaid over it called food. Now as I cut back and those pounds go away that pain and hurt is resurfacing, weird huh?
Hopefully, the roller coaster ride is over quicker that it got me here but I know that every step every tear I "re-cry" I'm finally finding healing inside. Understanding? Not so much but grief is a process of steps and every step in the grief process is important. We sometimes try to bypass a step but we will always be "stalled out" for lack of a better term at this moment. We can't grow, move on, etc until we finally allow ourselves to take that step and then the next until we have gone through the process and then we can say, I'm OK, I'll make it, I can move on and live my life without that pain.
I'm sure I'll have more to say later, today that is all!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment