Hardest Battle

Battle of the bulge... this is my hardest battle ever. I am in a love relationship and it's with flavor. I love food!!! If I can't find tasty food, flavorful food I will give up, I know this before I even begin. I've given up soooooo many times before. It's frustrating, aggravating and makes me very angry at myself. I'm a strong person in so many areas yet struggle in my weight and eating.

So, here I go again... Trying something new for me and mixing it with the old. Breakfast Shakes, Advocare. Spark, for extra energy and then I found I can drink and like, V8 Fusion in a can and it's very tasty.

This is day 4 of this old yet new journey and so far so good.

Saturday I did GREAT!!! I didn't eat enough calories though so I bottomed out Saturday night and struggled with my body not feeling well or responding well on Sunday morning. I ate rather than a shake Sunday morning because I was feeling so weak and shaky, nauseous, dizzy, etc. I taught Sunday School and then was on Praise Team... I had a really hard time pushing my body to worship and I felt very disoriented or maybe a better word is my mind was struggling with delayed thoughts. LOL. I struggled to respond and thought a couple times I would just slap pass out but I made it and talked to a friend freshly back on a diet and she was struggling like I was and she felt like it was lack of calories the day before.

Sunday Lunch I threw together Frozen Pulled Pork from Costco, boiled okra and hominy with a little cheese and had Dr. Pepper with lunch. Very very good if I do say so myself. LOL. Later in the afternoon I had more okra and about 6 crackers with some cheddar cheese and a small glass of Dr. Pepper.

Monday morning I woke up not feeling hungry and no cravings for food. Made my shake, grabbed a bottle of water along with my stuff for work and ran. Let my shake sit a little too long and it got kinda thick and I had to really fight to get it down because on top of thickening up it got warm. **gag** But I'm determined right now so I fought it down and won!!!

About 12 I HAD to eat so I warmed up my P.J's Organic Skinny Chicken Burrito, which is very good flavor and for me. LOL. About halfway through I was full and couldn't eat another bite. Then about 2 I started feeling blah so I make up a Spark and drank a V8 Fusion Strawberry Banana flavor. When I was leaving work at 6 I had had less than 700 calories and since I am learning my body needs fuel I knew I had to eat and make up some calories so I went ahead and stopped by In and Out Burger and got a cheeseburger, fries & a coke. I'm pretty good and judging my body and the affects of what I eat so I thought I would just see what happened. I felt find through Praise Team practice, usually I'm worn out and just wish I could go home and sleep but nope, I felt great! Started yawning around 9pm and thought, cool, I'll get home and just fall asleep, NOPE. LOL.

2am my mind/brain turned off and sleep found me, BUT, I woke up at 4am, last time I opened my eyes and peeked at the clock it was 4:32am. I was up at 6:30 to jump up, dress and run out the door. LOL.

Woke up this morning and OH MY WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted a biscuit from McDonalds or Whataburger soooooooooo bad. I didn't though, had to come into work early so I made my shake when I got here and it's now gone, into me belly. LOL. Got my bottle of water and a V8 Fusion sitting here to sip on. For lunch I brought quiche left over from dinner at the house last night so I have 2 small pcs, not sure I'll like the artichoke one but it's all I brought so it's do or die. Have a Spark to make up also, then tonight we may be going out to dinner with my brother and his family. I'll not go overboard but I will enjoy myself I'm sure. Water instead of soda is the plan. OH and this morning I don't feel heavy, bloated, like I ate bad last night so I think with the small amounts I ate all day I was fine with a burger and fries, still stayed in my man calories to loose weight so I'm fine. My new dress I'm wearing for the first time feels looser than when I first bought it a couple weeks ago so I know if I can keep up the good work I can do this for me!!!

Plus, several people recently seem to believe I'll marry sooner than later. LOL. Can I have their faith? Gotta lose this weight now and not crash diet then. HAHAHA. Just kidding.

So here is to a great day!!!